December 3, 2014 Last updated September 18th, 2018 3,761 Reads share

12 Of The Most Useless Office Inventions

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In the working world, almost everybody knows somebody who is gadget insane. However, from blankets with sleeves to ab-enhancers, from butter stick pens to beer helmets; there is an abundant amount of useless office inventions scattered around each corner of the globe.

#1. The Ultimate Geek Pen

The clue is in the name, this high tech gadget pen boasts enough features to make the best of geeks weak at the knees; twist the metal tip one way to make use of the ballpoint pen or twist in the opposite direction to utilise the stylus tip for PDA touch screens. Press the top button to turn on the laser pointer or press the bottom button to cycle through the UV light and flashlight. Hmm, there is such a thing as having too much of a good thing – right?!

#2. The Mobile Desk


The Mobile Desk was invented to allow for easy travel around your workplace without ever having to leave your workplace or desk behind. With an adjustable seat, the Mobile Desk can be accommodated to suit all workers. We can’t help but think – isn’t this what swivel chairs and laptops were invented for? Surely this is a better solution to prevent oneself from looking like an idiot in what resembles a portable child’s high chair?

#3. The Watch Jacket


Have you ever found yourself in the situation, after just purchasing a swanky new watch, that you cannot showcase your state-of-the-art arm-candy as your shirt sleeves are hiding it? Well at last; the Watch Jacket is the solution you have been waiting for! Equipped with a see-through panel, the Watch Jacket allows you to flash that watch in the most formal of situations. Caution: you may find yourself being the centre to ALL office jokes.

#4. The Cable Drop


Are you tired of retrieving your laptop’s cable from the floor? Do you constantly battle with careless co-workers who keep nudging those wires away from your reach? What you need is a Cable Drop! Cable Drop prevents your cables from dropping off your desk. With a wide range of colours available, the Cable Drop will blend harmoniously with your décor and match your furniture. Alternatively you can bring this pesky problem to the attention of those clumsy individuals.

#5. The USB Cup Warmer


Have you noticed that your morning coffee goes cold ten times as quick when perched at your computer screen? Fear not: the USP Cup Warmer allows you to extend your drinking times by a massive thirty minutes! Simply plug the gadget into your USB port and pop you cup onto the hotplate. Just a thought: surely the people who are too clumsy to forget to drink their coffee are the same people who are more likely to knock their brew off the Cup Warmer resulting in a hazardous mess?? Moving on..

#6. The USB Fridge


Just seconds after plugging in the USB Fridge, the cold plates will chill your drink to the perfect temperature. The computer gadget keeps your beverage cool while being at hand, making the USB Fridge ideal for use within work premises. To us, the USB Fridge is a waste of electricity and office space. With room for just one can; the additional noise the gadget will bring doesn’t seem worth the hassle.

#7. The Shoe Umbrella


Unless you live in 365 days of sunshine, you will have had to plan your attire around the weather. But sometimes working in the office means a schedule full of dress-to-impress meetings and how do you avoid ruining your best shoes in the rain? Shoe Umbrella is the solution for you! Shoe Umbrella allows to keep your feet dry when it rains; especially useful when briefcases and laptops have to be juggled. Yeah – right?!

#8. The Remote Headband


Do you regularly hold client presentation meetings? Does your workplace boast a trendy boardroom that utilises a remote to flick from slide to slide? Are you one to misplace that remote? With the Remote Headband you will never be in this position again! Just fasten the Remote Headband around your head and attach your remote using Velcro. Warning: you WILL lose clients and business WILL decrease dramatically.

#9. The Keyboard Dinner Holder


Office workers live by their computers. Many choose to eat their lunch in front of their monitors due to convenience and to productively use their time. You may be surprised to learn that the computer keyboard is the dirtiest item on their desk. To prevent such germs from spreading, office workers can now eat their food on the Keyboard Dinner Holder. A similar option would be to sit on the floor and eat of your lap like the naughty school kid you are.

#10. The Steering-Wheel Laptop Desk


Ever pondered on possible ways to make effective use of your car? Ever wanted to go on your laptop while you were on the go? By fitting securely onto your steering wheel, the Steering-Wheel Laptop Desk allows it easier to type while on the go! Once finished the portable desk will store neatly away in the car. We need to know why in the world would somebody think this was a good and useful idea?

#11. The Babble Voice Privacy System


Everyone knows working leads to stress but have you ever wanted to vent this stress publicly in your office? Are you scared that management will overhear resulting in you being jobless? The Babble Voice Privacy System allows you to speak freely and securely from your workstation and all your co-workers will hear is the garbled sounds of muttering. Similarly, you can go home and vent your feelings to loved ones or your family pet.

#12. The USB Heating Warm Slippers


Have you ever been sat at your desk and find concentrating on your work tasks is proving to be too difficult as you have icy-cold feet? Whether you are in the mist of winter or have a chilly office, the USB Heating Warm Slippers will keep your feet toasty-warm. Just don’t move from your workstation as your computer may fall over. In fact, just turn the heating up and double on stocks instead!


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Dawn Ellis

Dawn Ellis

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