Tweak Your Biz » Management » SuperMum: The 21st Century Fairytale For Business Mums

SuperMum: The 21st Century Fairytale For Business Mums



We all know that it can be difficult enough to manage a business, even more so in this current climate. Now add to that mix raising young children while doing just that, and many people would raise their hands in despair and want to pull their hair out! In this post I hope to dispel the myth of the Supermum and explain why so many mothers should quit chasing the fairytale.

Yet that is exactly what a lot of mothers are doing – often from home. Each one is doing it to be there while her children are small and still need their Mum, along with a variety of other reasons;

  • Because she has a great idea or product that there is a demand for
  • Because she has been made redundant form her paid employment
  • Because it is not financially feasible to keep on working with childcare costs so high
  • Because she has always wanted to set up and run her own business
  • Because she still wants to contribute financially to the family income.

I’m sure that there are other reasons too, if you have one that I’ve not mentioned let me know in the comments below. As a mum how often have you been sold the idea that you can have it all? That you should want to have it all?

Getting the balance right

Yet the biggest struggle for any working mum is getting the balance right. We are often bombarded with the Super-mum; the mum who seems to get the balance just right.

  • She seems to always look perfectly turned out with make-up and hair just right,
  • she is slim and fit,
  • her children always seem to be happy and well behaved,
  • she appears to have a perfect relationship,
  • have lovely supportive friends
  • and to cap it all she also runs a successful business.

It is a lot to live up to:

  • Be a successful Mum
  • Be a successful business owner (or employee)
  • Be a successful housekeeper
  • Be a successful wife
  • Be a successful friend

…And that if you can’t manage all that that there is something that you are doing wrong. It is enough to make us mere mortals want to curl up and admit defeat.

Related: What Do Women Need to Start A Business?

It Just Doesn’t Add Up

However, most women today don’t believe that we can be and have all of those things, usually after giving it a go and failing miserably.  Many a business mum stops trying when she finds she is constantly struggling and something gives, in some capacity, leaving her feeling guilty and a failure because she can’t get the balance right. Of course she doesn’t because she has been sold an impossible dream;

  • 100% – successful mum
  • 100% – successful business owner or employee
  • 100% – successful housekeeper
  • 100% – successful wife/partner
  • 100% – successful social life
  • 100% – ME time
  • 100% – successful friend

When you add it all up it just doesn’t add up to 100% because it is more, much more than one person can achieve on their own. We’ve been sold a fairytale, a 21st century fairytale, an impossible dream where happy-ever-after is somewhere in the future, just out of reach, if you keep pushing yourself beyond reality. It is little wonder that many mum business owners feel under so much pressure and a often a failure in some area of their life.

Related: Do You Have A Healthy Work/Life Balance?

You CAN be a successful Mum business owner

You can have all those other things you aspire to as well.  All it takes is tweaking the chart so that it is more realistic.   After all no matter what you do you are only 100% you, so divide up that 100% into chunks that work for you instead of trying to be 100% of everything;

  • 25% – successful Mum
  • 32% – successful business owner or employee
  • 5% – successful housekeeper
  • 15% – successful wife
  • 10% – successful friend
  • 8% – successful ME-time
  • 5% – successful hobby-time

We all get the same one hundred and sixty eight hours per week, it is simply a matter of deciding how you want to allocate them. When you know what way you want to divide up your time you can then sort into orderly time slots that work for you. You can then let go of the impossible dream and grab hold of a successful future.

Related: The Success Story Of Entrepreneur Kate Hyde With Henparty.ie

How do you divide up your time so that it works for you?

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Image: “Super businesswoman flying over London city/Shutterstock



The Author:

Mairéad Kelly developed the Cute Honey System - Business training, coaching & mentoring for Mumpreneurs & Mum Biz Owners who want to buzz their business into a hive of productivity while raising young children & often can’t get out to training events, morning or evening network events due to family commitments and/or a lack of finances. http://www.cutehoney.ie

Add Your Comment

  • Patricia1972

    Oh you are so speaking my language. What the media portraits i.e. Heidi Klum and how it might be behind the scenes is not always what it seems. Unfortunately its always us putting ourselves under pressure to be that little bit more perfect :)

  • http://www.smartsolutions.ie/blog/ Elaine Rogers

    Great post Mairead, I am sure it will
    resonate with every working mum, in or outside the home. I have been
    contemplating the 168hrs recently myself, and the ease to fit in time for the
    things we really want to do. 
    I agree with “We all get the same one hundred
    and sixty eight hours per week, it is simply a matter of deciding how you want
    to allocate them.” And it’s important to note that 32% successful business owner,
    simply means that we are not spending 168 hours on our business but 50+ which
    is a lot for a busy mum. It’s all about getting the balance right and that is
    an individual challenge.
    By letting go, we can hang on :)

  • Mag

    I like your approach and the charts make it all clearer. There’s a lot of myth about this and part of it is because moms have been lead to believe they must be perfect. As if everybody else is!

  • http://www.encouragingexcellence.ie/ Mairéad Kelly

     You’re right Elaine, by letting go, we can hang on…the trick is knowing what to let go of and what to hang onto.  Many business owners work way more hours on their business then 50+, I think a Mum who is also juggling the others things would love to be able to spend more time working on her business than she can…so maybe it is a blessing in disguise.

    It’s always good to re-evaluate what we want to do with our time, it’s something I re-visit at least every 6 months.

  • http://www.encouragingexcellence.ie/ Mairéad Kelly

     We all do it, at least until we wake up to the fact that these women are NOT actually doing it themselves, they have nannies, P.A.s, housekeepers etc to do a lot of the grunt work and we forget that, then only see the perfect turned out ‘public persona’ that they dispay to the world.

    I’m so glad it resonated with you.  Hopefully you can decide how to distribute your time to suit your lifestyle and stop putting yourself under pressure so much.

  • http://www.encouragingexcellence.ie/ Mairéad Kelly

     Absolutely Mag, I created them to demonstrate visually to a client who couldn’t get her head around how not being organised and being constantly under (self-imposed) pressure was adding to her stresses.  Once she ‘got it’ it was amazing to see the relief on her face when she decided exactly on how she could best use her time.  Like a lot of us she had bought into the fairytale.

  • Suzanne Edge

    I love this post…it’s very true. I especially note the drop of social life from 30% to 5% – as you say, something has to give and hard work, really hard work, like the hard work it takes to do well….takes compromise.
    When I realised that I could compromise with everything – I started to be so much smarter with all my time energy…..but hey, that’s only a good day!

  • http://www.encouragingexcellence.ie/ Mairéad Kelly

     It’s funny @google-441532967d78662173358313058a431a:disqus the amount of business owners that have noticed that particular part of the equation reducing significantly. I think as we start out we find it so engaging and time-consuming that we really don’t notice it so much until others start complaining that they don’t see us as much anymore.

    When we get the balance adjusted to suit the lifestyle we want we then decide whether to up the social life or something else…ultimately the choice is always ours though.

  • Susanbourkem

    Love this post more and more I hear women bemoan the workload and are tired of juggling all the BAlls in the air.I blame Germaine Greer for all her liberated ideas!! recently I heard her interviewed and she had changed her mantra quite a bit also! Maybe the current bunch of Teenagers finishing school will get the balance Just Right I hope I ve guided my 2 teens in the right direction.

  • http://www.cutehoney.ie/ Mairéad Kelly

    We all learn as we get older, I certainly don’t believe or think like I did in my early 20′s when my elder two were born.  Germaine Greer had her place as a voice for women when a lot of women had no voice, and there is no point in blaming anyone, that doesn’t get us anywhere. People will get the balance right when they decide what is right for them and stick with it, not what society decides is right for them. Attitudes are changing for the better towards working and child-raising and that can only be a good thing. Thank you for taking the time to comment Susan.