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There’s No Such Thing As Can’t

by Derbhile Dromey on September 3rd, 2010
12 Comments



Recently, a well-known motivational speaker was asked in The Irish Examiner newspaper what his pet hate was.

His answer was. ‘People who say they can’t. There’s no such thing as can’t.’ I’m sure many people admired his upbeat attitude. I felt alienated by it.

As a writer, I know that human beings are far too rich and complex to be labelled in terms of can and can’t. If managers are to have any hope of motivating their team, they need to figure out where people are coming from. They need to find out why they feel they can’t and convince them that they can.

Why do people feel they can’t?

There are many powerful reasons for it including:

  • A discouraging family environment. Parents, family and friends may have made people feel that they can’t, whether intentional or otherwise.
  • Illness or disabilities. People with disabilities are often made to feel that they can’t. People may also have latent depression, which saps confidence.
  • Disappointments and setbacks. If people often encounter obstacles to success despite their best efforts, they may not have the heart to try again.

As a manager, you may have little impatience for excuses. And that’s as it should be. Figuring out why people can’t doesn’t mean condoning bad behaviour. But if you’re an employer, you literally can’t afford not to figure out why people can’t. Firing people is a lot of hassle, with unfair dismissals legislation and the expense of recruiting and training someone new.

Instead, you can try a few simple tactics for turning can’t into can.

  • Find out why people feel they can’t. If people know that you understand where they’re coming from and that you have compassion for them, they’ll open up and it will be easier for you to help them.
  • Show them that they can. Share with them what you think their strengths are. Nobody is immune to a bit of flattery and it gives people confidence.
  • Give them strategies to move forward. If they’re having difficulty completing tasks, give them the resources they need, whether that’s mentoring, help from another staff member or literature to read up on.

It may seem like a lot of hassle, but if you take the time to turn can’t into can, you’ll build an amazing team and an amazing business.

Best wishes

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Category: HR and recruitment, motivation, Relationships, Self- development, Sugartone

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The Author: Derbhile Dromey

I am a freelance writer with a journalism background. I run WriteWords Editorial, a copywriting and editorial service which helps businesses sell themselves through words. WriteWords specialises in press releases, articles and web content. We can also revamp your existing copy and supply you with a range of marketing materials, such as emails, brochures and ghost-blogs. Just call me The Blog Whisperer http://www.writewordseditorial.ie

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  • http://www.btbtraining.com/blog Niall Devitt

    Hi Derbhile, I depend very much on my logic/common sense for my can do, Most things that are worth doing in business are also challenging, that’s the nature of the beast. I seek to constantly turn what’s hard into what’s easy by applying as much smarts as I can. The Irish government is full of can’t do people (prevent rather than create) which really gets under my skin at times ;(

  • Lorna Sixsmith

    My mother always said there is no such word as can’t which made me feel inadequate when I really couldn’t do something!! Great post Derbhile – I find its the same with my kids too, got to give them the resources to ensure they ‘can’ cos not everything is possible but almost everything

  • Anonymous

    Derbhile,

    Such an important point! I get so frustrated sometimes with overly positive language. If a person doesn’t believe he/she can do something, it won’t happen even if they absolutel have all the necessary skills. Finding out what is getting in the way is so spot on! Another thing that can get in the way of why people can’t do something is when they don’t understand what is being asked of them. This can cause a feeling of confusion and so it is easy to believe you can’t do something in that circumstance.

  • http://www.seefincoaching.com/blog Elaine Rogers

    Whether a person believes they can or cannot achieve something, then they are right. We cannot achieve beyond what we believe is possible. There is a responsibility for a Manager to instill confidence in their hires, after all they are their manager, there to not only extract productivity but nurture, support and encourage.

    Oftentimes the can’t attitude will be with the manager, and that permeates throughout the team.
    At a more personal level, support and encouragement is important. A person must feel valued to feel they can achieve the difficult and challenging.

    Coaches will be well aware of the “I can’t” and the “Oh I don’t know”. I often ask for evidence of this, and then look at the evidence of the can(s) and do(s). It’s mostly successful with those with basic self-esteem or self-confidence issues. However, the need/want must be there, and it’s our job as coaches to help the client move beyond the comfort zone of conditioning.

    Great post, and great to highlight these challenges. Some parents have a lot to answer for, instilling their own insecurities onto their kids, rather than providing the “resources” to encourage the child.

  • christinagiliberti

    This projection of positive is just that. It’s meaningless and just a turn of phase.
    Some management training techniques are to create a team/positive vibe ie ‘There’s no ‘i’ in team’.
    BUT, empty words are just that and the only way ‘can’t’ becomes ‘can’ is when you figure out how to make it so.
    Extremely powerful message here Derbhile and very insightful.

  • Anonymous

    Great post Derbhile. I’ve had some great managers and some poor managers over the last 10 years. For me the good managers are those who really care and are interested in seeing the people under them developing.

  • http://www.ivanwalsh.com Ivan Walsh

    Hi Christina. nnAs someone whou2019s never met a single customer in the real world as I sell onlineu2026 whatu2019s made a huge difference is going the extra yard when they have a problem. nnSo, for me, the issue is usually how do I keep them and then build more bridges. Email is very effective, fwiw.nnIvan

  • http://www.tweakyourbiz.com Niall Devitt

    I think the research piece is key, if you have a profile of your ideal customer, finding new ones becomes so much easier. Thanks for sharing :)

  • http://www.cgonlinemarketing.com/ Christina Giliberti

    Thanks! I believe so too. Do you currently use customer profiles?

  • http://www.cgonlinemarketing.com/ Christina Giliberti

    Can’t believe I missed these replies!nThanks Niall. Profiles give us direction and insight into the customers we need to target. Without this, we are a bit aimless.n

  • http://www.cgonlinemarketing.com/ Christina Giliberti

    Hi Ivan,nnCustomer loyalty is always a tad more difficult, but if you have a great product/service, then your customers will see this. Going the extra mile means you stand out from the crowd – every important!

  • …..

    THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS I CANT
    -ANNONAMOUS

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